:(

I feel so weak... I feel so tired... help me.. :'(

...

a few hours to go and I'll be back to reality.. Reality of having to work to earn a living.. To keep on going for life must go on... If only I could stop the days where all I can do is sit and sleep and eat... and.. Spend the whole day with him... I had a bad day the day I knew my account was closed... I couldn't blame anybody about it coz I know it's my fault... I was out of my consciousness the moment I went out of the bank... It was one of my major goal to keep ang maintain my account since I wanted it to last until I die... It was so painful to accept that it has already closed.. :( life has to go and so I have to deal with other  problems I have.. I know I shouldn't be thinking about problem and problems... I just get frustrated that I want everything to be done and solved... And it's hard because I only have myself to deal with everything... 

..

the days spent with him was incomparable... without him I wouldn't survived every single day of being far from my family... I know I shouldn't attached myself to him, since I'm aiming for independence. I guess it's just how it goes.. And I don't know how to not to be too dependent with him. That's why I get scared or afraid everytime I think that sooner or later we need to be apart. He has some stuffs to finish and deal with... I understand... But I don't know... It'll be hard for me.. I'm sure...