Thanks Hon., you made my day...

I thought this week was hell~ thank God for my man was here and spend the whole day with me... Katalaka lang gid sakun kis.a kay super ma minsar... Kapin pa indi matabo ang gusto ko na matabo... I should be thankful kay despite sang annoying attitude ko.. Ara man siya japon gina chindi yako... Maskin ako man, natak.an mn sa batasan ko... Indi mn ko mu ni sang una ah... sbng lng mn ko amu ni ka over acting towards sa relationship nmn... Haaay... I know his trying his best... and i should always remember na sa isa ka relationship indi mn pirmi happy lang... haaay... I love him so much gid... I wish to wake up beside him every single day of my life... 

Thank you sa help..

Okay fine... Of all the people... Yeah I'm starting to not like her... But in times like this... Siya lng gid naka enlighten sakun... So I guess I should trust her naman gid goro... pro wala ya si michael gapa nugid nga ga chat sila mga bagay2x na amu to sang gin sugid ni faith eh... Haiz... ka gamu ah... indi lng gid kmi ya parehu ugali... Totally opposite gid... :( 

I hate you...

I feel like anytime he can just walk away and leave me... no matter how much and how often he tells me he wants toasty me and spend all his life with me. It's not the same with his actions... This week was a hell... and I always end up crying.. Thinking if this is worth every tear drop... I feel na mas gina isip yapa ang salakyan ya kesa sakun sa mabatyagan ko... how can I trust him when sa pinka gamay na butang lng gani indi pa siya kapa nugid... kag katayugan pa na rason... Kaya ngakig ko... Since when does he care kung mangakig ko or indi? 

binutig... :(

te amu pana nga sa gamay lang na butang indi sa kapa nugid sa akun... Haiz... Kung indi ko pa sa pag puga.on indi pa mag amin... :( why??? Na init ko ah... all the while gapawala lng ko sang mga na notice ko... Kay gusto ko sa iya mismo mahalin nga manugid sa... Pro wala gid... ahay... te mabasul yako kung next time ma duwa2x naku sa I hambal ya.. Kay kapila nani nga times mu... Huhuhuhu... Gusto ko sa awayun galing indi mana japon maka solve... dasun daw kawala man lng sa iya na amu na gin himu ya... Te anu pa gid ayhan ang iban pa gid na mga wala yapa na sugid... :( feeling ko daw sa gaga or i lintu.on ko.. Maskin deep inside kablo ku sang kamatu.uran and dasun siya ya mahambal lang sang binutig.. ka confident pana sa iya mag hambal... 

All by myself

I also realized that in the midst of troubles like love life issues... It's just you and yourself... Coz the persons you tend to asked help with can never give you the solution... It's just empathy that you get... And the same advices... listener... that's all... and sometimes it lessens the burden when you know somebody listens...

but you still gonna go through the pain all

By yourself... And I hate that pain everytime we had a fight... 

Trust Issue and My suplado and ma pride na bag

In order for a relationship to last. You need to trust your partner in all aspects. So I begin to think that I should. And I always trust him. Anyway, if he doesn't, it's not me whom his fooling, it's himself... So I just have to show and express how much I love him and how much i do want to spend my whole life with him. I'll stop worrying from now on... If it's meant to be, then it's really meant to be... My first and last love... the kilig factor that always makes me smile and giggle.. hehe^^ Mr. Michael Ryan B. Verde, I hope that from this day on, you will realize that breaking up is not a good option whenever we had an argument or fight. You can say you hate an act I did or the words I said, so I can realize my fault. Indi kay dayun mo lang ka pang break... Hehe^^ sakit sa heart kag sa mata bala... I know wala ka gasalig na love ta gid ka... Pro indi gid na bala insakto. Besides you promised me bala

Na indi kana mag amu na... I love you for who you are... Your good and bad side. Pls. Ang pride mo, buhi ni man when it comes to us... Dba dapat 50/50 ta d sa relationship ta? How will it last kung pirmi lang ka mang break and ako nmn ma

Pakit.luoy na indi lang? I hope you get what I mean... suplado ka.. Huo, that's fine... But pls. ibutang sa lugar. and by the way... thank you for being the best boyfriend ever... In all aspects na honey... I love you! 

No expectations so no disappointments

I always procrastinate... That's why I always end up being disappointed when what I expect to happen doesn't happen. I will expect that special

Occasions means surprises and dearly loving day... it turned out that everytime I expect... I get nothing...  yes I love surprises... That's why I'm always speechless and don't know what to react everytime he surprises me... I'm thankful for that for his efforts... But I just can't get out of thinking that through special occasions I'll get surprises... It doesn't have to be a thing or something... Just little acts that will make me say that yes this a special day... And he remembered it... Which means he really cares and values our relationship... 

Sometimes..

you have to experience the pain to realize and learn something...that's what I got from putting myself down from feeling sorry for myself when I shouldn't...But sometimes you got lost in the moment and drown yourself to the emotions..  It will always boil down to your choices... And I should have chosen to be stronger. I was a cry baby...I'm always like that.. I do trust him... It's the woman instinct that sometimes bothers... That's why I ask to be corrected or to affirm my instinct. Well I guess, I just have to go with the flow.. To give a damn but not to give a shit... I mean, the same with to be concern but not assuming... To love without expecting in return... To fight ... And to understand. 

Say it to the world.

natapos ang anniversary nmn without him greeting me sa social media...yes, I like the changed man now... But I wish na retain lng ang ka sweetan kag ka open niya sa social media when it comes to expressing his feelings towards the woman he loves..Yeah... Ininta nman... I'm not comparing sa past ya...But isn't it nice dba? Who doesn't want that... Every girl wants that their bf is so proud and shouting it to the world. Dba???

black and white

Sometimes gina think ko... Anu ayhan kung siya man maka batyag fear of losing me... ina bala nga ma hambal ya man na indi ya kaya ma break kmi... Na tani indi lang kmi ma break... Do wala mn lng b sa iya ya... His probably busy thinking how to find money para mapakay.o salakyan ya... Gusto ko man na mabayadan yako... But I hate it kung gina bring up ya ang topic na may utang siya sakun kag bayadan ya lang... I don't know... Di lng ko nami.an... 

Why

I'm just being honest... Nga.a amu gid na dasun reaction ya... it doesn't mean man goro na wala nku salig of my doubts ko... That's why I'm asking para ma clear... but why does it have to be like this... Kanami na ya sang tulog ya... Here I am,.. Trying to stop my tears... Sakit na mata ko ka hibi... do I deserve this? Abi ko palangga yako? Nga.a tulugan ya lang ko without saying kung anu gid...  

.,

Naluoy ko sa self ko... For crying so hard... For seeing my eyes so read and my nose in front of the mirror... Huo

Palangga ko gid siya sobra2x... Peri nga.a amu ni haw? kanami na lng gid ya inom damu2x na anti allergy para maka sleep lng ko... I can't stop from crying kag kasakit sakit gid batyagon... how can  he easily say na ma break kmi... Nga kgna lng hambal ya palangga ya gid ko katama... :( just because lng na nag duda ko sa iya... 

I'm not strong :'(

I wish I'm strong enough to say yes whenever he lets me go.. :'( I wish I can just move on right away and not feel this pain... Sakit2x gid ya promise... ahay :( nga.a amu ni ya akun gaka experience... What have I done to feel this pain :( nag hambal mn lng ko sang akun na feel kag need ko lng explanation... :( kasakit na daan na nalipatan ya ang anniversary nmn... Nga.a ako ya pirmi gapakit Lu.oy?  Dba kung love yako indi kmi ma abot sa amu ni?  Tani makaya ko man kung anu yaku e treat na do ka wala

Lang sa iya na ma break kmi... tani indi naku mag hibi nga dapat ko hipos on kag tagu.on kay basi mabati.an ko... Kag tani ima ubos na dasun luha ko kay d nku ka kita sang hibi.. Tani indi lng kmi mag amu na ni kay indi ko gid kaya... Daw ma lupok akun heart... :'( nakulba.an ko kay basi this time madayunan gid ko... :(

May tana ako!

see??? I was right... And it fucking hurts... How could he forget such important and special day... oh well~ asa pako gani... Kailinit lngg galing ya eh... 

Lantawon ya gid b...

At this moment ga hibi2x ko kay happy2x gid ko kay anniversary namun... Pro siya ya gaka tulog na.. We'll see if ma remember ya bwas... Masakitan gid ko if nalipatan ya... I know indi matabo ang mga gina think ko na tani himu.on ya kay special day nmn... pro atleast tani ma remember ya.... 2 days ko pa nmn sa wala nakita... Hulaton ko gid na siya ma una... 

Honey ko..

Happy anniversary! You'll be lucky of you ever read this... but I will keep this blog secured always... You might get bored from reading my blog coz it's all about me loving so much... Thank you hon, for we have reached another year together... I really pray na tani... Kita naman gid... I remember when you said na nafeel mo na nga ako na gid... me too hon, gusto ikaw na gid... Maskin anu pa kabudlay kayanun ko gid... Maskin kung kis.a ga sunggod na ko cmu and do gusto ko na ma give up... but everytime ma isip ko na mabulagay ta kag indi tanka ka makita kag ma hug... do mahibi ko... Indi ko gid kaya makita ka with another girl.. Seryoso... thank you thank you gid kay happy happy gid ko katama with you... sa pag palangga mo sa akun kag sa effort mo na ma make up kung anu man ang pagka kulang mo... kayanun ya gid ni hon ha? Basta ara lng ko d mahatag support kag bulig kung makaya ko... Palangga ta gid ka katama honey ko... happy anniversary liwat! Mwah mwah mwah!

A year older

feb 24, it's just a date we decided. Since we can't remember when was really the date...but for me, I realize I still love him was when I went to his place one saturday... Then we make love and with the song on the back ground "somewhere down the road" I felt something inside my heart and it really made me cry... I was thinking at that time how I could still love the man who have me my first heartbreak, the man who rejected me for he chose the girl he had a baby boy with, the man who made an option together with his two girlfriends, and the man whom at that time I didn't know if his really serious or just playing around...yes, but despite everything he has done, he was the man who listened when I broke up with my ex boyfriends, the man who haves his shoulder for me to cry on... The man who cheer me up... My bestfriend, and the only man who makes me feel this way... Yeah I know it sound so cheesy.. But true.. I never thought the feelings was still there after all this years... And YES! Finally! We made it! We survive for more than a year... I couldn't be anu happier knowing that what we have can possibly go a long way... I'm praying to forever. 

emote ra basta manug abot

I can't sleep :( emote2x nmn eh... Budlay basta manug abot bisita kay sensitive and emote ta... kung anu2x lng dasun ma think ko... basta I feel sad... sad sad sad sad sad sad... 

weird~

I'm starting not to like her~ hell... Yeah... and maybe that is the reason I seem to get irritated whenever I see her posts.. Especially when it's about owls or related to my man... why of all creatures owl? Haay... I know we were so good friends via internet... Coz we have the same na initan na girl... but sometimes, and how I hate it everytime ma Miguel gid sa! Okay fine... My history sila... And the least i could do is to understand... If possible tani about lng kay matt ila na connection na duwa... Yes we are friends... But I don't trust her... the question still lingers why she wanted an owl tattoo?? Like duh? anything else dear??  I know this isn't right... And I shouldn't feel this way... but I can't help it... I don't know what the hell they talk about if mag chat sila... I just have to trust him... I know my instincts will surely come out of me if there's something to worry about... it's just that I trust my man... I just don't trust her... 

Scared :'(

Why is it hard to leave... Knowing that I'll go without him... :( it's hard when I spend all of my days with him... And thinking that will be apart scares me... :( I don't wanna lose him... but thinking of the possibilities that might happen... It's so scary... I trust him... But I don't know... There are so many temptations around... :( I'm making myself strong but deep inside I want to cry... Because here I go again.. Will have to endure a long distance relationship... and it's not easy.. Been there and experienced every single of saddest night... I wish life is so simple and that we can't be apart... Ever again... :'( I am so scared... 

Wide awake

I'm waiting for my bestfriend... We need to talk about our plans in going to dubai... But then an opportunity came and I might try my luck in that job... It's difficult to choose... Especially there's money involve... I really want to go to dubai... But I don't have the money... :(

Bday

super happy gid ko tonight... maskin nag hilibi.on pako gna kay na init ko sa iya... his really good in making me feel better and bringing me to paradise... I super felt he loves me so much kgna... I was like omg! This is so good and the best feeling... sagad2x gid ka migo ya... Love ko gid siya super! 

I miss you!

It's been 4 days of not updating... Whew! Wala b internet connection.. :(  yesterday I was surprised again! Yup yup! His the sweetest! Super cute sang teddy bear... The other day I was thinking pa na tani may mahatag sakun sa valentines... It came early... Hehehe^^ sagad gid sa ya mag pa kilig kilig... And we had the most amazing night together... Today I felt like I was at the top of the most unexplainable feeling... I love him so much... The same way how he shows he truly loves me... :)

P.S.

Hon, kung mabasahan mu ni.. Te mayo eh... Hihi^^ really want to thank you for giving me the best days of my life. Sorry kung moody ko kag do wala care kung kis.a... Basta palangga ta gid ka katama.. We can make this relationship work hon for the rest of our lives.  Salamat gid sa happiness kag sa pagpalangga... xoxo 

Happy yippee!

I was surprised to see a stem of red rose with banana q when I opened the door of his car... mu to gli na naka close gid ang bintana..ka sweet gid sang gin ubra ya and I was speechless and shy... hihi^^ it made my day... and na feel ko gid how much he loves me... daw mahibi ko sa kalipay... It was over whelming and the feeling is crazy...daw ara ko sa cloud 9 everytime he does these gestures of showing how much he loves me... Praise gid for this beautiful day. :) 

Better

I feel better today... and gin visit yako liwat at home and spend the whole day with me.. Yesterday he even bought me bananas.. Hehe... Abi ko nah diritso na siya lakat... Gin hapitan yapa ko gali... i know love ya man ko... Maskin gina sunlog yako na ako gid ang luyag2x... Hehe... 

Poor me :(

i need you mama~ wala d may maluto sang chicken noodle soup ko... :( gutom nku... Indi ko kabangon... Sakit pa ulo ko kag chan ko... Huhuhuhi