i'm on this ALONE

Maybe amu na wala sa drive to find a job. Kay ako lng man na sadyahan kag may gusto sa sitwasyon ko sbng. He even said na kay wala nmn sa choice. Wala gid siya nag hambal na happy siya for us. Indi nku matingala kung sa ulihi happs lng sa iya mam baya... Kay sa sugod pa lng indi nmn gid sa... Indi nku mamilit sa tawo nga indi... Makaya ko man ni bubi.on ang baby ko... Kay ako lng man ni nalipay nga nag abot sa... Nakapoy na gid ko... I wish pwed na lng ko mapatay dasun para d ko na feel ang guilt kag ang pain... I feel like I'm alone in this battle... 

Body temperature

Today I noticed my body is warmer. I guess because of my developing baby inside my tummy. :) I was happy to see my boobs were a little bit bigger and my body got curves and not skinny. It was just yesterday when I found out a positive sign on my pregnancy test. I'm so excited for this life changing event of my life. can't wait to see you baby! 

happy and sad

Today na confirmed na I'm pregnant. I felt so happy and at the same time scared. But the most disappointing part is.. Of all people sa iya pa halin ang idea na ipa hulog lng nmn... I thought siya pa ma hambal nga indi siya ya kay baby ni nmn ya... I hate him for that.. Mayo gli ya kay okay lng sa iya ipa hulog baby nmn pro sang una ya ang ila ni faith indi gid sa ya gusto... Ang importante sbng sakun ang baby ko.. Kung indi sa bahala da sa... I hope his man enough to fight and patindigayan ya ang amun gin ubra.. Now that it's not just us.. Tani seryosohon ya na gid na mangita sa work... I will take care of you my baby... I will try my best na pa daku.on ka sang tadlong and with all the things you need.. Love ka gid ni mommy... Kaya tani baby... 

Haay

Grabeee... Does he even care sa mga gina pang hambal ya? For once mn lng indi ya mn lng mapakita na indi yako gusto madula sa iya... indi ko gid na mets ang batasan ya.. Okay lng sa iya ma break kay tungod natak.an siya sa kadramahan ko? Can't you even show a little patience sa pag auto sa akun?grabeee gid sa ya..d siya gani kablo mag apologize sa gin ubra ya kagab.e... After all i derserve an apology and an assurance... pag katapos sang binutig ya... I hate to think nga all the while mahambal sa na palangga yako and then it's so easy for him to let me go... Is that what love is? ha?! Bullshit! Kay either way ako mn japon ang masakitan... I hate how much I still love this stupid person... and how he can easily take for granted everything... My feelings... sa pride ya... 

Pls. Help me. Sobra na gid :(

Lord, patawara ko sang mga sala ko... Tama na pls na pasakit.. Sbng pa mga ga worry pa gid ko daan about ni sa chan ko.. :'( indi ko ma kaya Lord... Ma suko na lng ko cgoro... kasakit na gid sang gina himu ya sa akun... Nga.a amu ni... Wala ya mn lng ko gin pag laban kgna... Gin buy.an ya lng ko... lord gid... Nga.a amu ni haw? :( gusto ko lng man honest tani... Kay pinaka sakit gid ang mabutigan.. Sulit2x.. Does he even care kung anu mabatyagan ko Lord God? Does he even love me truly? ka kapoy na gid lord God.. :( help me.. :'(

Wala na gid katu pasan..

anu pa b ang mas sakit pa gid na mabasahan mo gid ang mga tinaga nga to... Abi ko worst natu ang sang ligad... May mas worst pa gid... Anu pa gid ayhan ang mabal.an ko? :( ubos2x ko na gid nahatag ang pag inchindi kag pacenxa ko... wala nku kablo kung anu pa matabo kung may ma dasun pa.. Do I deserve to be cheated? Ang butigan? do masuko na lng gid ko... As in ka sakit ma gid... I don't know na kung anu pa gid ang makaya ko... Nga.a gina cge ko pa ni...  wala gid sa ya konsenxa or maskin man respeto sa akun... Amu na ang love para sa iya? indi ya gani mahimu ang gina pahimu ko sa iya... Siya na lng ya pirmi masunod? Kay do wala mn sa may gina sunod sakun... Haaay...

My prayer for tonight

dear God,

Grant me the strength and understanding na mapatawd si Michael everytime madakpan ko siya nga ga butig. Kasakit mn batyagon tuod pro Lord God, enlighten his heart to tell the truth.. Even if the truth will hurt my feelings. Give him the wisdom lord to understand my point and to be strong enough to fight and stand for us. It hurts even more everytime he tries to push me away and choose to end our relationship. I know in this difficult times you are with me. Help me lord gid to easily forgive and forget. I love him so much Lord God. Thank you uniting us back and for continuing the grave and blessings you have given us in our relationship. I know we are not even half way... Please keep us together.. Stronger and selfless. In Jesus name I pray. Amen

My instincts never fails me..

I knew it~ I knew there's something wrong about the informations sa watch ya... Na subu.an lng ko kay he had the chance na mag sugid sang tuod sa pila ka bulan... Pro wala gid... He chose to lie to me.. kasakit gid man batyagon ang makes me doubt kung anu pa ang wala ya na sugid sa akun.. I felt ka unfair sa iya kay I tried gid to tell everything sa iya kay I feel guilty kung may Natago ko...pro siya ya wala ya man lng gin paminsar na pinaka na initan ko gid ang Butigun... I wish ma hambal ya tanan sakun... Ang mga tanan na ginatago ya.. I know gid na damu pako ma discover... Gaka feel ko gid and I have some proofs.. Pro gusto ko siya gid ma amin... I cried while making love to him kgna.. Napaminsar ko lng nga.a kung mag make love kmi ma feel ko mna true tanan napa feel ya sakun...na love yako.. Pro d ko ma gets nga.a pirmi sa ga Binutig sakun.. 

Wala lng~

Nag popped out lng sa mind ko kag na feel ko na hidlaw ko sa iya.. ang iya hug kung mag sleep kmi... Ang iya ma chura kung ga sleep mag bugtaw ko sa morning... Dasun ang iya na mga gina luto na mga favorite dish ko... :( I feel like super kalayo sa iya.. If only pwed na kmi ka upod na duwa... His the only one who can make me feel happy in his simple ways.. Haaay~ nasubu.an ko mag think na d kmi tupaday sbng... I just want to sleep in his chest.. Dasun gina hug yako... :(  why do I feel like this tonight.. :( ga emo nmn ko ah... maybe I'm just so thankful and happy that I have him... that he loves me... 

Happy!

Nothing speci today... Basta happy lng gid ko kay happy kmi and I felt he really do loves me... We may be experiencing financial problems at present... I feel

Okay knowing that his already moving.. His finding a job na... I know trials lng ni sa relationship nmn... I'm just so happy that despite sang mga gina paranoid ko and fears his still there... Trying his best... I know someday ma prove ya gid sa family ko na wala ko nag sala nga siya gin pili kag gin palangga ko sobra... 

M

Nga.a ka unfair gid ya haw.. Why do I have to fell this way and nga.a amu ni ya man... Daw pirmi na lng ko gasakitan and  indi ya gid ko ya ma inchindihan... Kung lain lng ko batasan indi ko na lng sa pakad2.on sa bata ya para wala na sila connection ni faith... Pasibangdan yapa ko gina open fb ya... Amu lnggid na gina ayu ko sa iya... Halin pa sang ligad... Indi ya gid ya mapati... Kung indi ko sa dakop dakopon indi man mag ako... How dare him.. Ma conchaba pa sa... I don't know lng... Consenxa yana lng gid kung intu.on yako.. 

Why?

Sa tanan na pwed ya hambalon... Hambalan ya gid koangita ko migo na may work kay kaya ko sagurun.. Kasakit sakit batyagon nga u na panan.aw ya sakun... Kung amu gli gin monya yako kay masagud ko sa... :'(

Ahay..

I know indi man sa dalok kung may ara sa ah... And he took care of me sang sa manila kmi... But nga.a gaka tabu.an  gid pirmi kung kilanlan ko sa wala gid... Maskin indi man maka solve tuod sa prob ko pro tani atleast may mahambal man sa or ma respond mn sa dasun... Maybe his right na naging complicated life ko bcoz of him... and wala gid ko may makita nga gapaningwa sa ah... Anu nga pangabuhi mahatag ya sakun kung mangita pa lng gni work gina panigan buyanan ya lng... I love him so much.. But he also needs to play his part as my boyfriend and future husband.

Thinking

haaay... fast forward na lng tani ang life ko... Really awant things to fall

Into place and live the life I want.. The happy family and a stable job... 

Haiz

Kung if ever gid man na mabasahan mo ni hon, pls. Indi man pag e take negatively and mag think kung anu2x...pls. Imbis na mang break ka, e prove mo na lang sa ila na worth it tanan nga sacrifices ko cmu... I know may mga bagay kaman na gin himu para sa akun and I am thankful for that.. Always gid... Pro this time hon, it's your turn naman na ipa kita sila na deserving ka.. indi mag hambal nga kung indi nku ka agwanta te ma give up nku eh... Kay kablo ka gid nga maskin anu pana nahimu ko or gin contribute sa relationship ta gapati gid ko na responsible ka nga tawo. Tani lng hon, indi ta pag say sayangun ang chance na gin hatag sa atun... Kablo ka gid kung anu taka ka palangga... Ka kapoy lng kis.a hon, kay feeling ko do ako na lng tanan... Dasun ma sinuplado ka nmn kung mabasahan mo ni kag ma hambal na palayo.an mo nku kay gaka budlayan ko cmu... Kaya tani hon, buligay lng ta... kay wala nmn ko iban na gusto ma upod mag tigulang ko ah... Ikaw nmn lng... 

Morning thought

Aga pa si jen nagessage sakun... ahay... her words strike me... I know na chak2 gid sa tuod... :'( wala nku kablo kung anhun ko si Michael... Kay dapat siya na ya mag kusa gihu.. Gaka remember ko ang mga times nga gina bilin yako sa iri... Na dapat e comfort yako, but instead siya pa mangakig kag mapalayo... ang time nga na close ang acct., ko.. Nga iya lang gusto masunod... And ang pinka last... ang time nga na dakpan ko and wala gid ko may nakuha na sabat sa iya kung anu himu.on ko... Ne pangayu pa senxa sa iloy ko wala gid sa nag hambal na amun to duwa sala... 

Update

2 weeks pa man lng since naka puli kmi d sa Bacolod... So far so good ang akun na self regain...  And Michael promised to look for a job before this month ends. Yes he did tell me before we went home. It saddens me to realize that up until now wala man japon update.. Kadamu reasons.. Ang sakit and ang kwarta hinders him from looking a job... haay... Sometimes do ma give up nku sa pag pati sa mga gina hambal ya... :(  I really wanna support him sa planu niya sa pangabuhi ya.. Galing kay do asta lng sa hambal pirmi... Palangga ko gid sa katama nga gina push ko gid siya... I just hope na tani indi ya pag e take negatively kag mahambal nmn sa break... 

uhan

Had a day well spent with him.. :) I love it when he says he loves me in the middle of our love.. And the plans he has in stored for our future. It gives me hope and a positive outlook. I really do hope this time he will get up and start living the reality of life.. now that we really need to earn a living for our future. I missed him so much.. And the little things we usually do back in manila... The simple surprise hugs and the kiss on my lips before we sleep and when I wake up... I can't wait to live in the same roof with him.. I wish my family can let me go and give me the freedom to marry him... 

depressed

I feel so down and hopeless... Just realized how my life sucks.. While everybody has already in the middle of their goal in life.. Mine hasn't started yet...   Back to zero and i feel like I'm going nowhere... I'm stuck in these "I don't know" deeper thoughts leads me to be depressed and too

Much thinking makes me weak and just wanna give up... I don't know

If there's someone out there who cares to pull me out of this black hole... I really do need help to see the light... someone who can stand out for me and give me strength... 

:(

I feel so weak... I feel so tired... help me.. :'(

...

a few hours to go and I'll be back to reality.. Reality of having to work to earn a living.. To keep on going for life must go on... If only I could stop the days where all I can do is sit and sleep and eat... and.. Spend the whole day with him... I had a bad day the day I knew my account was closed... I couldn't blame anybody about it coz I know it's my fault... I was out of my consciousness the moment I went out of the bank... It was one of my major goal to keep ang maintain my account since I wanted it to last until I die... It was so painful to accept that it has already closed.. :( life has to go and so I have to deal with other  problems I have.. I know I shouldn't be thinking about problem and problems... I just get frustrated that I want everything to be done and solved... And it's hard because I only have myself to deal with everything... 

..

the days spent with him was incomparable... without him I wouldn't survived every single day of being far from my family... I know I shouldn't attached myself to him, since I'm aiming for independence. I guess it's just how it goes.. And I don't know how to not to be too dependent with him. That's why I get scared or afraid everytime I think that sooner or later we need to be apart. He has some stuffs to finish and deal with... I understand... But I don't know... It'll be hard for me.. I'm sure... 

Nervous

This it! Gina kulba.an kung anu man

Ang sa future na matabo... :( wala pako daan kwarta... :( tani dasig lng kmi

Maka kita agency kay I really

Want na sa dubai maka work dasun... haaay...lord pls be with me... And guide me... 

Hon

Hon, kayanun ya gid ni ha... Wala suku.ay pls... Kag tani wala lng sang mga pahug2x na break... :( I love you so much gid... I'll do my best gid para sa relationship ya na mag  forever.. thank you gid sa tanan.. Mwah

:)

I just couldn't end this day without blogging what happened the other night... It was so outrageous... All the dramas and I got drunk... It was so sweet of him kay gin hulat yako ang gin dul.ong puli... Ang effort pa gid ma gin lakat ya lang ... Haaay... I wish indi na lng koag lakat.. Or ma apas sa sakun... Indi ko gid masaw.an na indi ko siya makita personally every single day... it'll

Be hard gid sa first few days na d kmi makita.ay :( 

Indi ko nami.an sang joke mu!

Joke lng kono pro sa social

Media gina waragwag ya gid na happy gid siya katama kay malakat nku! Even sang ga updanay kmi duwa! Kung kablo lng siya kung anu kabudlay para sakun na malayi.ay kmi... I'm scared ya bcoz ma anu na lng kmi of mag away kmi na layu.ay kmi and knowing sa batasan ya daan... paano ni mag work b kung mag cge lng andar ang batasan ya na e tiklod yako palayo kag breakan ya lng ko... Amu na ya ang gina ka hadlok ko... Indi ko gid makaya kung indi kmi sa ulihi indi I duwa... I wish it's so easy na mapakasal na lng kmi dasun... I wish he reacts lng the way he reacted before sang nag lakat si sarah.. I wish... Nakita ko gid to tanan mga post ya sang mag lakat to ang isa... And it breaks my heart nga.a wala gid sa ya for me post or something.. His totally different with me sang sa sila pa sang ex ya... I feel taken for granted... :(

Thanks Hon., you made my day...

I thought this week was hell~ thank God for my man was here and spend the whole day with me... Katalaka lang gid sakun kis.a kay super ma minsar... Kapin pa indi matabo ang gusto ko na matabo... I should be thankful kay despite sang annoying attitude ko.. Ara man siya japon gina chindi yako... Maskin ako man, natak.an mn sa batasan ko... Indi mn ko mu ni sang una ah... sbng lng mn ko amu ni ka over acting towards sa relationship nmn... Haaay... I know his trying his best... and i should always remember na sa isa ka relationship indi mn pirmi happy lang... haaay... I love him so much gid... I wish to wake up beside him every single day of my life... 

Thank you sa help..

Okay fine... Of all the people... Yeah I'm starting to not like her... But in times like this... Siya lng gid naka enlighten sakun... So I guess I should trust her naman gid goro... pro wala ya si michael gapa nugid nga ga chat sila mga bagay2x na amu to sang gin sugid ni faith eh... Haiz... ka gamu ah... indi lng gid kmi ya parehu ugali... Totally opposite gid... :( 

I hate you...

I feel like anytime he can just walk away and leave me... no matter how much and how often he tells me he wants toasty me and spend all his life with me. It's not the same with his actions... This week was a hell... and I always end up crying.. Thinking if this is worth every tear drop... I feel na mas gina isip yapa ang salakyan ya kesa sakun sa mabatyagan ko... how can I trust him when sa pinka gamay na butang lng gani indi pa siya kapa nugid... kag katayugan pa na rason... Kaya ngakig ko... Since when does he care kung mangakig ko or indi? 

binutig... :(

te amu pana nga sa gamay lang na butang indi sa kapa nugid sa akun... Haiz... Kung indi ko pa sa pag puga.on indi pa mag amin... :( why??? Na init ko ah... all the while gapawala lng ko sang mga na notice ko... Kay gusto ko sa iya mismo mahalin nga manugid sa... Pro wala gid... ahay... te mabasul yako kung next time ma duwa2x naku sa I hambal ya.. Kay kapila nani nga times mu... Huhuhuhu... Gusto ko sa awayun galing indi mana japon maka solve... dasun daw kawala man lng sa iya na amu na gin himu ya... Te anu pa gid ayhan ang iban pa gid na mga wala yapa na sugid... :( feeling ko daw sa gaga or i lintu.on ko.. Maskin deep inside kablo ku sang kamatu.uran and dasun siya ya mahambal lang sang binutig.. ka confident pana sa iya mag hambal... 

All by myself

I also realized that in the midst of troubles like love life issues... It's just you and yourself... Coz the persons you tend to asked help with can never give you the solution... It's just empathy that you get... And the same advices... listener... that's all... and sometimes it lessens the burden when you know somebody listens...

but you still gonna go through the pain all

By yourself... And I hate that pain everytime we had a fight... 

Trust Issue and My suplado and ma pride na bag

In order for a relationship to last. You need to trust your partner in all aspects. So I begin to think that I should. And I always trust him. Anyway, if he doesn't, it's not me whom his fooling, it's himself... So I just have to show and express how much I love him and how much i do want to spend my whole life with him. I'll stop worrying from now on... If it's meant to be, then it's really meant to be... My first and last love... the kilig factor that always makes me smile and giggle.. hehe^^ Mr. Michael Ryan B. Verde, I hope that from this day on, you will realize that breaking up is not a good option whenever we had an argument or fight. You can say you hate an act I did or the words I said, so I can realize my fault. Indi kay dayun mo lang ka pang break... Hehe^^ sakit sa heart kag sa mata bala... I know wala ka gasalig na love ta gid ka... Pro indi gid na bala insakto. Besides you promised me bala

Na indi kana mag amu na... I love you for who you are... Your good and bad side. Pls. Ang pride mo, buhi ni man when it comes to us... Dba dapat 50/50 ta d sa relationship ta? How will it last kung pirmi lang ka mang break and ako nmn ma

Pakit.luoy na indi lang? I hope you get what I mean... suplado ka.. Huo, that's fine... But pls. ibutang sa lugar. and by the way... thank you for being the best boyfriend ever... In all aspects na honey... I love you! 

No expectations so no disappointments

I always procrastinate... That's why I always end up being disappointed when what I expect to happen doesn't happen. I will expect that special

Occasions means surprises and dearly loving day... it turned out that everytime I expect... I get nothing...  yes I love surprises... That's why I'm always speechless and don't know what to react everytime he surprises me... I'm thankful for that for his efforts... But I just can't get out of thinking that through special occasions I'll get surprises... It doesn't have to be a thing or something... Just little acts that will make me say that yes this a special day... And he remembered it... Which means he really cares and values our relationship... 

Sometimes..

you have to experience the pain to realize and learn something...that's what I got from putting myself down from feeling sorry for myself when I shouldn't...But sometimes you got lost in the moment and drown yourself to the emotions..  It will always boil down to your choices... And I should have chosen to be stronger. I was a cry baby...I'm always like that.. I do trust him... It's the woman instinct that sometimes bothers... That's why I ask to be corrected or to affirm my instinct. Well I guess, I just have to go with the flow.. To give a damn but not to give a shit... I mean, the same with to be concern but not assuming... To love without expecting in return... To fight ... And to understand. 

Say it to the world.

natapos ang anniversary nmn without him greeting me sa social media...yes, I like the changed man now... But I wish na retain lng ang ka sweetan kag ka open niya sa social media when it comes to expressing his feelings towards the woman he loves..Yeah... Ininta nman... I'm not comparing sa past ya...But isn't it nice dba? Who doesn't want that... Every girl wants that their bf is so proud and shouting it to the world. Dba???

black and white

Sometimes gina think ko... Anu ayhan kung siya man maka batyag fear of losing me... ina bala nga ma hambal ya man na indi ya kaya ma break kmi... Na tani indi lang kmi ma break... Do wala mn lng b sa iya ya... His probably busy thinking how to find money para mapakay.o salakyan ya... Gusto ko man na mabayadan yako... But I hate it kung gina bring up ya ang topic na may utang siya sakun kag bayadan ya lang... I don't know... Di lng ko nami.an... 

Why

I'm just being honest... Nga.a amu gid na dasun reaction ya... it doesn't mean man goro na wala nku salig of my doubts ko... That's why I'm asking para ma clear... but why does it have to be like this... Kanami na ya sang tulog ya... Here I am,.. Trying to stop my tears... Sakit na mata ko ka hibi... do I deserve this? Abi ko palangga yako? Nga.a tulugan ya lang ko without saying kung anu gid...  

.,

Naluoy ko sa self ko... For crying so hard... For seeing my eyes so read and my nose in front of the mirror... Huo

Palangga ko gid siya sobra2x... Peri nga.a amu ni haw? kanami na lng gid ya inom damu2x na anti allergy para maka sleep lng ko... I can't stop from crying kag kasakit sakit gid batyagon... how can  he easily say na ma break kmi... Nga kgna lng hambal ya palangga ya gid ko katama... :( just because lng na nag duda ko sa iya... 

I'm not strong :'(

I wish I'm strong enough to say yes whenever he lets me go.. :'( I wish I can just move on right away and not feel this pain... Sakit2x gid ya promise... ahay :( nga.a amu ni ya akun gaka experience... What have I done to feel this pain :( nag hambal mn lng ko sang akun na feel kag need ko lng explanation... :( kasakit na daan na nalipatan ya ang anniversary nmn... Nga.a ako ya pirmi gapakit Lu.oy?  Dba kung love yako indi kmi ma abot sa amu ni?  Tani makaya ko man kung anu yaku e treat na do ka wala

Lang sa iya na ma break kmi... tani indi naku mag hibi nga dapat ko hipos on kag tagu.on kay basi mabati.an ko... Kag tani ima ubos na dasun luha ko kay d nku ka kita sang hibi.. Tani indi lng kmi mag amu na ni kay indi ko gid kaya... Daw ma lupok akun heart... :'( nakulba.an ko kay basi this time madayunan gid ko... :(

May tana ako!

see??? I was right... And it fucking hurts... How could he forget such important and special day... oh well~ asa pako gani... Kailinit lngg galing ya eh... 

Lantawon ya gid b...

At this moment ga hibi2x ko kay happy2x gid ko kay anniversary namun... Pro siya ya gaka tulog na.. We'll see if ma remember ya bwas... Masakitan gid ko if nalipatan ya... I know indi matabo ang mga gina think ko na tani himu.on ya kay special day nmn... pro atleast tani ma remember ya.... 2 days ko pa nmn sa wala nakita... Hulaton ko gid na siya ma una... 

Honey ko..

Happy anniversary! You'll be lucky of you ever read this... but I will keep this blog secured always... You might get bored from reading my blog coz it's all about me loving so much... Thank you hon, for we have reached another year together... I really pray na tani... Kita naman gid... I remember when you said na nafeel mo na nga ako na gid... me too hon, gusto ikaw na gid... Maskin anu pa kabudlay kayanun ko gid... Maskin kung kis.a ga sunggod na ko cmu and do gusto ko na ma give up... but everytime ma isip ko na mabulagay ta kag indi tanka ka makita kag ma hug... do mahibi ko... Indi ko gid kaya makita ka with another girl.. Seryoso... thank you thank you gid kay happy happy gid ko katama with you... sa pag palangga mo sa akun kag sa effort mo na ma make up kung anu man ang pagka kulang mo... kayanun ya gid ni hon ha? Basta ara lng ko d mahatag support kag bulig kung makaya ko... Palangga ta gid ka katama honey ko... happy anniversary liwat! Mwah mwah mwah!

A year older

feb 24, it's just a date we decided. Since we can't remember when was really the date...but for me, I realize I still love him was when I went to his place one saturday... Then we make love and with the song on the back ground "somewhere down the road" I felt something inside my heart and it really made me cry... I was thinking at that time how I could still love the man who have me my first heartbreak, the man who rejected me for he chose the girl he had a baby boy with, the man who made an option together with his two girlfriends, and the man whom at that time I didn't know if his really serious or just playing around...yes, but despite everything he has done, he was the man who listened when I broke up with my ex boyfriends, the man who haves his shoulder for me to cry on... The man who cheer me up... My bestfriend, and the only man who makes me feel this way... Yeah I know it sound so cheesy.. But true.. I never thought the feelings was still there after all this years... And YES! Finally! We made it! We survive for more than a year... I couldn't be anu happier knowing that what we have can possibly go a long way... I'm praying to forever. 

emote ra basta manug abot

I can't sleep :( emote2x nmn eh... Budlay basta manug abot bisita kay sensitive and emote ta... kung anu2x lng dasun ma think ko... basta I feel sad... sad sad sad sad sad sad... 

weird~

I'm starting not to like her~ hell... Yeah... and maybe that is the reason I seem to get irritated whenever I see her posts.. Especially when it's about owls or related to my man... why of all creatures owl? Haay... I know we were so good friends via internet... Coz we have the same na initan na girl... but sometimes, and how I hate it everytime ma Miguel gid sa! Okay fine... My history sila... And the least i could do is to understand... If possible tani about lng kay matt ila na connection na duwa... Yes we are friends... But I don't trust her... the question still lingers why she wanted an owl tattoo?? Like duh? anything else dear??  I know this isn't right... And I shouldn't feel this way... but I can't help it... I don't know what the hell they talk about if mag chat sila... I just have to trust him... I know my instincts will surely come out of me if there's something to worry about... it's just that I trust my man... I just don't trust her... 

Scared :'(

Why is it hard to leave... Knowing that I'll go without him... :( it's hard when I spend all of my days with him... And thinking that will be apart scares me... :( I don't wanna lose him... but thinking of the possibilities that might happen... It's so scary... I trust him... But I don't know... There are so many temptations around... :( I'm making myself strong but deep inside I want to cry... Because here I go again.. Will have to endure a long distance relationship... and it's not easy.. Been there and experienced every single of saddest night... I wish life is so simple and that we can't be apart... Ever again... :'( I am so scared... 

Wide awake

I'm waiting for my bestfriend... We need to talk about our plans in going to dubai... But then an opportunity came and I might try my luck in that job... It's difficult to choose... Especially there's money involve... I really want to go to dubai... But I don't have the money... :(

Bday

super happy gid ko tonight... maskin nag hilibi.on pako gna kay na init ko sa iya... his really good in making me feel better and bringing me to paradise... I super felt he loves me so much kgna... I was like omg! This is so good and the best feeling... sagad2x gid ka migo ya... Love ko gid siya super! 

I miss you!

It's been 4 days of not updating... Whew! Wala b internet connection.. :(  yesterday I was surprised again! Yup yup! His the sweetest! Super cute sang teddy bear... The other day I was thinking pa na tani may mahatag sakun sa valentines... It came early... Hehehe^^ sagad gid sa ya mag pa kilig kilig... And we had the most amazing night together... Today I felt like I was at the top of the most unexplainable feeling... I love him so much... The same way how he shows he truly loves me... :)

P.S.

Hon, kung mabasahan mu ni.. Te mayo eh... Hihi^^ really want to thank you for giving me the best days of my life. Sorry kung moody ko kag do wala care kung kis.a... Basta palangga ta gid ka katama.. We can make this relationship work hon for the rest of our lives.  Salamat gid sa happiness kag sa pagpalangga... xoxo 

Happy yippee!

I was surprised to see a stem of red rose with banana q when I opened the door of his car... mu to gli na naka close gid ang bintana..ka sweet gid sang gin ubra ya and I was speechless and shy... hihi^^ it made my day... and na feel ko gid how much he loves me... daw mahibi ko sa kalipay... It was over whelming and the feeling is crazy...daw ara ko sa cloud 9 everytime he does these gestures of showing how much he loves me... Praise gid for this beautiful day. :) 

Better

I feel better today... and gin visit yako liwat at home and spend the whole day with me.. Yesterday he even bought me bananas.. Hehe... Abi ko nah diritso na siya lakat... Gin hapitan yapa ko gali... i know love ya man ko... Maskin gina sunlog yako na ako gid ang luyag2x... Hehe... 

Poor me :(

i need you mama~ wala d may maluto sang chicken noodle soup ko... :( gutom nku... Indi ko kabangon... Sakit pa ulo ko kag chan ko... Huhuhuhi

Waaah!

mati heaven ni dj sammy kag mag hibi hibi... i wish it was me... ininta mode on...junior prom...  i dont know why it still hurts eveeytime ma recall ko ang memory sang nakita ko sila duwa ga dance...it ruined my night gid at that time.. I remember kurt gave me his white panyo to wipe my tears... I will never forget seeing them holding si close.. The girl wore blue gown and he was hugging him tight... ahay... :( i wish it was me... 

too good to be true

i can't sleep... Been thinking about the highest level of happiness I'm feeling... All I can say is.. Thank you Lord God for giving us this second chance... i'm praying this will last...  i don't know what to do if madula pani liwat... i know damu pa trials na ma abot.. Keep us strong and united by faith in you and with our love for each other. Thank you so much for this happinesS.. No amount of material things can ever replace this kind of happiness..

Realization

How can i be so immature and insensitive towards him... after what happened tonight, I realize I'm being too over acting... indi mn ko mu ni bala before... Sometimes I became childish pa to the point na maskin kababaw man lng mangakig ko ir masunggod... Then later on ma realize ko man na it was a bad act to be like that... Haiz... This guy is making me crazy and make me feel and do things in an extra ordinary way... luyag2x b mu... 

ambot

Nag hambal na gid ko gna na mapagunting sa kag ma ubra sang exam ya... Pa promise2x pasa... Haiz... kanami gid sa iya... matulog2x mn sa ya... Wala ya gid gin pati ang hambal ko sa iya... Grrrr... Nag pa andam na gid ko gna sa iya... Wala gid ya... Haiz

Happiest

Defintely one of the best days we shared together... Yeah... Nabasahan ya nmn blog ko... but its okay... I feel so loved today... his so affectionate and his actions say it all... yeah right... he got the good moves when it comes to like this... Basta ka happy naman sa akun kag na feel ko gid na love ya gid ko... tani everlasting na gid ni... 

love you

basta happy gid ko kung anu ta sbng... i love you so much... 

jan. 23,2014

Just an ordinary day... short period pf time lang updanay nmn and nabasahan ya nmn blog ko ya eh... Hehe... Excited na gid ko mag work abroad.. Hopefully maka kita nku work... Haiz... Pro gusto ko tani ara ko sa graduation ya :( i wanna be there kay special day na daan ya... Langga ta gid ka katama my honey... Mwah mwah mwah

happy :)

The little things he does makes me happy... maskin kiss lng na sa forehead ir hold my hand and himas sa likod ko... Dula gid kapoy dasun... Especially pag may hug pa... Huwwwow gid ang feeling...love love ta gid ka langga...i may have some little bad commnets about his short comings and all the things I wish he could've done and or can do... i know nobodys perfect... And his imperfections are one of the reason why i'm not myself sometimes. Maskin anu ko pa ka init sa iya, pro kung makita ko na sa gani ang he shows me how affectionate and how much he loves me... Wala nmn dasun... he knows my weakness and sagad gid siya mag into sakun...hihi^^ in a good way... mwah...

forever :)

I feel so happy right now... I could not ask for more... Ang gusto ko lng na matabo is to wake up..feeling the air his breathing... And while his holding me close in his arms... Kung tani ka easy lng nga bwas dasun mapakasal na kmi... Siya na gid ya ang gusto ko ma upod for the rest of my life... I've never felt this excited and gadali na nga ma settle... Ga apaw ang akun kalipay kay love yako... Galing kung kis.a ma isip ko mn japon ang fear.... Na basi mabulagay mn kmi japon... Its not easy starting over again... And i know indi ko gid makaya if madula nmn sa liwat sakun... I know how much he assures me na love ya gid ko... Ma feel ko mana... I guess prayers na lang gid kag faith kay God na meant to be gid kmi na duwa forever. Palangga ko lng gid sa sobra. 

Morning grrrrr!

Aga pako gani nag bugtaw para early pa kmi... dasun matulog tulog pa sa iya ya... Kag as usual late nmn eh... Grrrrr... Kailinit gid katama... nami.an gid sa ya mag pahulat sa akun... haiz.... kailinit gid ya.... as i coukd remember ma isip ko lng ang time nga gina hulat yako... Aga pako na bwesit.... People change man gid goro... Kay do indi mani sa mu ni sang una... Grrrr...